Life is a big fat lesson from God!

God is teaching me a big lesson… one that I thought was just on forgiveness. But then He threw in patience. As if it wasn’t hard enough trying to forgive and forget. I took His advice on forgiving someone who has hurt me more than I think anyone ever has. I can honestly say this is the first time in my life I have ever experienced forgiveness to this magnitude. I took a real hard look at myself, realizing what forgiveness I have been given through Jesus on the cross… and that broke me. I hit my knees asking God to forgive me for not forgiving. This happened about a month ago. Then my pastor said it best last Sunday, he said “We block our own forgiveness from God by not offering forgiveness to others.” He used the scripture from Matthew 6:14-15 where Jesus says “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” He also referenced the parable of the unmerciful servant in Matthew 18 (which I recommend you read) who had been granted forgiveness, then immediately the opportunity for him to forgive someone arose and he refused. This is just as every single human being on this planet. We all have been forgiven, yet we refuse to forgive. To make a long story short… b/c believe me it has been quite a process... at first the person I forgave refused my forgiveness! WOW! After all that, she still refused accept my apology and my forgiveness for her even though it was coming straight from the heart. Even though forgiveness had taken place in my heart, the refusal of it somehow still continued to haunt me and block my relationship with God. My human side wanted to say “well just forget it then, it’s not my problem anymore, I did my part” and yet somehow that wasn’t the end of it. God was still there… telling me just do whatever it takes and keep trying no matter how many times it takes to break down that wall and seek acceptance from this person. I tried again with an email, which never was received because this person had blocked my email address. Of course, Satan was doing all he could to stop this act of God from taking place. After a few days of not getting a response and it still lingering over my head, I sent the same email from a different email address. I got a response and I believe this time she has accepted my forgiveness and also my apologies. I pray the relationship will continue to mend and will grow even stronger than before. Now I feel as though a whole new realm has opened up in my relationship with God.
Now onto the patience part… as many of you know Jacob quit his job last November to stay home and take care of our baby. This was a joint decision and was supposed to be until she was about 3-4 months old. Thanks to the economy downslide it turned into 10 months! Maybe God’s plan was slightly different than ours! We have definitely learned how to lean on faith and trusting in God to provide for us. This has strengthened my relationship with God… seeing how only He could work out our financial situation month after month. Well now it seems as if God is opening a door for Jacob to return to work. He had an interview at a great company on Monday and was told he would hear what the decision is on Tuesday or Wednesday of this week. So… Tuesday and Wednesday are gone… and here we sit with no news. We are so anxious to see what God is going to do in this situation… and yet we sit and wait. It just seems like it is all falling into place at the right time but I know God is bigger and always has something in store for us that we just can’t predict.